By The Way

Me and Michael are not together anymore. I broke up with him because I figured that we would be better off as just friends and I found out that I didnt like him as a bf that I just liked him as a friend. Well, that's all I have to say so ya TTYL!

Don't Know What To Feel!

Okay, now this is out of the blue but it popped in my head. I kind of miss Andy. He is one of my ex's. He left me for this girl named Sarah which I don't understand why well I kind of do but he said he loved me so why would he leave me?. But the reason why I am writing this is because he got in a wreck yesterday and I found out because my mom called me like right when it happened, I believe he is alright. He did get taken to the hospital by the ambulance but they were just checking him to make sure he was alright and nothing was broke or anything. Now a while back I told him the whole truth about everything and he got pissed at me and told me to never talk to him or any of his friends ever again. It hurt me real bad because even though he broke up with me and broke my heart I still wanted to be friends because I wanted to be as close to him and spend as much time with him as possible because I still loved him with all my heart. After he told me not to talk to him or any of his friends, I didn't becasue I respect him enough and want him to be happy so I was doing what he said. I still love him and always will. I will never forget him no matter what. He was my first and only love. He was practically my first everything. He was pretty much my first boyfriend, my first kiss, I lost my virginity to him...I just flat out loved him to death. He made me all warm and happy inside. I felt like somone wanted me that they actually cared about me. And he always said I love you and he always said he wanted to marry me but ya you know how that goes. I really did want to marry him and I wanted to have kids with him and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Well, anyways when he got in that wreck my mom called me and I laughed about it but deep down inside I wanted to cry because I was so worried about him being hurt. I don't ever want anything to happen to him even though he did treat me the way he treated me. I care about him with all my heart no matter what I say. I just wish he could understand that but he won't listen to me. Please if anyone reads this and talk to ANDY BROWN please tell him that I said all this. I love him and always will but he wants to move on and already has and I guess it is my turn now. I just hope I can find someone that can make me feel the way he made me feel.
Thank You For Reading If You Did. I appreciat it. Thank You Again, Rabecca Jane Miskimen

Just A Bunch Of Mess!

Well I am really seriously bored right now and have nothing else to do. I really don't have anything to say but ya haha there is really nothing better to do cause it is 9:10 pm. And ya I can't go anywhere after dark cause it is a school night and most of my friends aren't doing anything at this time anyways. OMG! If you haven't seen Rejected then you need to watch it asap haha it is so hilarious my favorite parts are when this guy says My spoon is to big...My spoon is to big...My spoon is to big, then a banana walks up and waits a minute and says I am a bananaa. It is so hilarious you just have to watch it for it to be so funny. Then you need to go to http://www.snotr.com and watch Pole dancing, door prank, and Eyebrows Raising. They are so hilarious! I laughed so hard. But ya ha I'm watching the bachelor right now and its about over but I'm kind of tired so I just might go to bed early which is kind of crazy for a 16 year old to be going to bed at 9:30 and not being out with her friends but it's all good haha idc what people think and that's a really good thing. But anyways I will talk to everyone tomorrow at school. Goodnight!

YAY! I'm so happy!

He asked me out again today and this time I was like I don't know and his sister was there and she said did you just awwww you did aww that's so cute awww! And he said so do you say yes and I say Yea! and He says Yay! and then we go to class! :]]

Can't Trust Anyone In This World

Never trust any one with anything cause in the end they most likely won't be there for you! They Will turn their back on you...some may fight for you...some may die for you...but most will just turn around and walk away. They may seem like they love you in the beginning but then they begin to change and you notice the difference more and more everyday. Always think before you take action and always remember the only people you can really absolutely trust are your family. Cause in the end there really is nobody else out there.

I seriously hate feeling like this. It feels like crap. It feels like nobody loves you or nobody is there for you in the end. Which I know that I have Trudy, Mychelle, and Michael. But I don't know if that is enough. I finally realized tonight how much of an idiot I am for loving a person so much when they hit me yelled at me and tugged me around. And I realized how stupid I was of doing some things while I was with that person that I really shouldn't have done and I wish that I wouldn't have but what is done is done and when I finally told that person what I had done (when we aren't even together anymore) they say they forgive me and that they could never hate me not even one little bit then the next day go off and tell some guys that I am a slut, a hoe, and a bitch and that he was going to hang me. How wrong is that?! That is f**king sh*t. It is so uncalled for. I mean I can understand him being mad at me and everything but if you're mad then tell me right then and there and don't lie to me. I would rather know the truth then a lie. It hurts way less in the end if you know the truth.

When I asked him if he was with this girl he says no we are just friends and then the next day one of my best friends tells me that she saw him giving her a kiss on the cheek and it wasn't just a friend kiss it was a passionate kiss and that they went to lunch together...it hurt me. Cause I did still love him at the time but then he said that night that he didn't do it and that people are just trying to start drama cause they hate him and want to ruin his life. Well then I see him the next day and the day after that and the day after that and so forth going to lunch with her. So I confrunt him about it. He says ya I go to lunch with her but we are just friends I promise. Then he keeps saying he needs to talk to me and everything and so one night I go with him and we go to the park and everything and do some things and ya then that Monday(today *2/2/09*) some guy opens his mouth and says something about it and he says no it's not true she just doesn't want me and sarah to be together I asked her out on Friday(the night we went to the park) but that Saturday I sent him a message and he replied back that he wanted to ask me out that day but I had told him about everything that happened while we were together and he said he just didn't know anymore. So you tell me does that make much sense or what?! It doesn't to me. He either needs to get his crap straight or stop lying to me. One or the other. But quite frankly I don't care anymore. I could care less of what he does with his life he can go kill himself for all I care. He is out of my life and lets hope it stays that way!! He was just a peice of shit to begin with and I wish I would have never laid eyes on him. He was just a waste of my time. Although he did help me to see that there is someone better out there for me and that he will treat me right and that I can actually be myself around him and have fun. I have finally realized that everything happens for a reason and this all happened so I could see that I really do deserve someone better then a use to be pot smoking, drinking, smoking cigarette, dipping snuff mother fucker! That doesn't give a shit about nobody but himself. Thank You Very Much For Showing Me The
Real World! I will always remember you but you will never have a home in my heart again. Goodbye forever and always!